


paradise on earth

by flowershuu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Romance, Slow Burn, eren lives in jean's head rent-free, in which jean suffers, jean's mom is her son's no. 1 wingwoman, mikasa loves gardening, simp jean, tried to make mikasa's developing love for jean as realistic as possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29478882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowershuu/pseuds/flowershuu
Summary: No matter how many daisies he plucked and repeated the same process, the outcome remained consistent. “She loves me,” Jean muttered under his breath and a sudden wave of courage overtook his senses. He brought it up subtly, “Since you’re a flower expert… Do you think it works, Mikasa? The ‘loves me, loves me not’ game?”She glanced at him, visibly unimpressed by the silliness of his inquiry. “No. That’s a children’s game.”(Having nowhere to stay after returning to Paradis from a trip with Kiyomi, Mikasa and Armin end up being guests in the Kirstein household.)
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman & Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 18
Kudos: 74





	paradise on earth

**Author's Note:**

> MANGA SPOILER WARNING: If you’re an anime-only, read at your own risk!
> 
> CONTEXT: This story is set post-Rumbling in a world, where Eren managed to complete his plan by touching Historia’s baby, who inherited the Beast Titan after Zeke’s death. Additionally, Eren figured out how to free all Eldians from being Subjects of Ymir and took the whole burden himself – once his shortened lifespan is up, he’ll die along with all traces of titan existence. Currently in the fanfic, he’s still alive but nearing the end of his days. Doesn't even focus on Eren but a lil FYI.

_March 19, 857_

Jean arrived at Trost Station one hour before the train from the port was scheduled to reach the city. He had no reason to be there in advance but his anticipation for the upcoming reunion and his mother's increasingly invasive questions had prompted him to leave the house earlier than he was supposed to, which is how he had ended up in his current predicament – sitting in the less crowded section of the platform, eyes glued to the ticking clock on the wall.

From a stranger’s perspective, Jean appeared to be an ordinary citizen, who happened to be particularly cranky that day – he had a scowl on his face and his arms were crossed tightly in impatience. His supposed foul mood was further accentuated through his choice of clothing – he was dressed in black from head to toe while a hat was covering his hair and partially obscuring his features. However, anyone that was aware of his identity could easily figure out that rather than trying to make a fashion statement, such outfits had become a necessity for him. That was because Jean was no everyman – his efforts to terminate the Rumbling had turned him into an enemy of the state.

After Eren had managed to restart the deathly march of the Wall Titans through Historia’s new-born baby, the crestfallen Alliance returned to Paradis. But by the time they had touched down on the island, it was too late to prevent the near extinction of the human race. They were arrested by the Yeagerists the moment they set foot in Mitras. Charged with high treason, they were to be publicly executed. On the morning of the punishment, Eren and Historia had intervened and formally pardoned some of them for their actions – while the Marleyans remained in captivity, the five former heroes of the Survey Corps were free to go. Though, their release came at a heavy price – they were now widely regarded with scorn.

Connie had decided to go back to his village since his mother had reverted to her human form – Jean hadn’t seen him ever since but knew from the few letters they had exchanged that his friend preferred the rural area as he could hide from people’s contempt. Similarly, Levi had disappeared without a trace – rumour had it that the Captain had abandoned all faith in humanity and had left Paradis on a small boat, having no intention of coming back to the recently-established country. Likewise, Mikasa had no other option but to flee – in spite of still loving Eren and being eternally grateful to him for saving her as a child, she was unable to cope with his estrangement and had chosen to go on a soul-searching trip with Mrs. Azumabito, who sought to discover what had been left from Hizuru. Mikasa had taken Armin along with her as the young man had fallen into depression after witnessing the annihilation of every civilisation on the planet and needed time to heal mentally.

Only Jean had chosen to stay in central Paradis, joining his mother in their family home in Trost. Like the rest of his ex-associates, he had been forced to lead a quiet life on the fringe of society and had to restrict his public appearances unless it was absolutely essential. Today was precisely that type of exception – two weeks ago, Armin had mailed him a short note, explaining that he and Mikasa were planning on visiting Paradis temporarily as well as requesting to stay at his place since they had nowhere else to go.

To say that Jean was simply looking forward to meeting his friends was a major understatement – he was beyond thrilled as the last time he had seen them was over two years ago. If Jean had to be completly honest, prior to receiving Armin’s message, all confidence of ever seeing the blond man and Mikasa again had vanished. Therefore, their sudden homecoming was a pleasant surprise that would definitely distract him from his currently dull existence.

Just as Jean pulled out a cigarette, the speaker announced that the train from the Port Station would be arriving in five minutes. He could no longer bring himself to smoke as his fingers began trembling instantly. Each passing second felt like an eternity – as if in a trance, Jean stared at the steel rails as his leg kept twitching nervously.

Then, it was over all at once – the unmistakable sound of an approaching train was heard and the front wagon soon appeared in the visible horizon. Jean jumped from his seat and stepped closer to the edge of the platform as if wanting to shorten the distance between his friends and him as soon as possible.

The train finally stopped. Soon after, passengers began exiting. At first, Jean couldn't spot Armin and Mikasa but then from the corner of his eye, he noticed a flash of golden and raven. Just as he was about to turn in said direction, Armin gave him a side hug.

"Jean! Could barely wait to see you," he yelled in excitement. "You’re one of the reasons I wanted to return!”

"Tch," Jean rolled his eyes in feigned irritation but couldn’t stop a sincere smile from gracing his lips. “I’m offended! If I’m not your main reason for being here, then might I ask why did you come back?”

Armin grinned at the joke, trying to give off the impression that he was in good spirits, although his inner anguish was openly displayed on his face. “I want to meet him… before his time is up,” he uttered quietly.

“Ah,” Jean nodded weakly. “He’s going to kick the bucket soon, isn’t he? Thanks to him, Eldians are no longer Subjects of Ymir. But he took the whole burden. What a suicidal–”

"It's nice to see you," Mikasa's voice came from beside them, interrupting his rant. She sounded the same as before and when Jean glanced at her, he observed that she looked just like she used to – calm and collected, unless Eren was involved. Yet, Jean was certain that she must’ve changed since the previous time they had talked to each other – the devastating status of her and Eren’s relationship must‘ve had a tremendous impact on her.

"Mikasa,” Jean’s breath hitched as he opened his mouth to speak, briefly unable to continue. “Glad you're doing well," he greeted her verbally but didn’t reach out to hug her as it would be unnatural despite them having formed an earnest bond in the past. He settled for awkwardly patting her on the shoulder and she returned the gesture.

"Shall we go?" Jean asked once Armin and Mikasa had retrieved their luggage.

_March 20, 857_

When Jean woke up, it was dark outside. There was still an hour and a half until the sunrise. Nevertheless, the young adult felt more energetic than usual even after such a short rest. His struggles to resume his sleep were pointless. Without a doubt, this newly-developed restlessness could be attributed exclusively to the arrival of his friends.

Yesterday, the three of them had had lunch together and then spent the entire afternoon, recounting stories of their experiences after they had separated. The conversation had started quite grimly but luckily, Jean’s mother was there to lighten the gloomy atmosphere. Eventually, everyone felt more comfortable sharing how they have been handling life after the tragic events that had taken place not so long ago. Even Mikasa had willingly disclosed her deeper thoughts. Indisputably, she was more talkative than Jean had ever seen her. Thinking about the memory made Jean beam. He couldn’t contain his exhilaration for the day ahead so he threw the thick duvet aside.

After taking a quick shower, Jean put on his workout attire since he planned on exercising in the backyard later. When he was ready, he headed downstairs to make breakfast, assuming no one else would be awake at this ungodly hour. But he was startled by the soft voices coming from behind the kitchen door. Overcome by curiosity, he cautiously inched closer and held his breath in order to more clearly make out what was being said.

"Your parents were farmers? Then you must enjoy gardening?" Jean raised a brow at his mother’s exclamation but was stunned when he heard who the other participant in the exchange was.

"That’s correct. It used to be a hobby of mine before the… the incident," Mikasa confirmed. "I grew up as an only child and there were no neighbouring kids for me to play with so I spent all of my time outdoors in my mother's garden.”

Jean had never heard her talk about what her life was like before she had moved in with the Yeagers. Everyone in their friend group from the Survey Corps was familiar with the tale of Eren saving Mikasa after she had been kidnapped by bandits due to the court case that Eren had to go through after being exposed as a titan. But Mikasa, herself, had never discussed her early years in detail. Jean’s internal contemplation was interjected as the black-haired beauty carried on, "I've always wished to have a family of my own and live peacefully, surrounded by nature, like my parents.”

“Your dream will become a reality, dear! You’ll find your little paradise, because you deserve it," Jean’s mother replied. "You’ve suffered immensely, which is why I am sure fate has a happy ending in store for you.”

"I'm… I… thank y-you," Mikasa whispered after a pause, voice overflowing with emotion. Jean guessed she had teared up and felt extremely sorry for her. His mother’s affirmation was comforting but he knew Mikasa much better than her – it was no secret that the girl had a soft spot for Eren and Jean speculated that she’d never be satisfied unless the man she was devoted to was present in her ideal vision of the future. Not only was Eren doomed as the Curse of Ymir was bound to make him perish but he had also pushed Mikasa away in a cruel attempt to protect her – and if that wasn’t enough, it had turned out that he had a child with another woman, who he possibly had a romantic connection with.

To this very day, Jean couldn’t comprehend why Eren had treated Mikasa in such a terrible way. Hadn’t his long-standing rival loved her back? Jean was convinced of it. All the signs were there – despite his constant complaining about Mikasa’s nagging, Eren defended her no matter the cost and the two of them had been inseparable. Heaven knows why Eren had altered his behaviour towards her so drastically! Granted that his ultimate goal was to secure Mikasa’s safety, Jean was still perplexed by Eren’s manner of doing it.

Bummed out, Jean turned on his heel and went to sit outside. He had lost both his appetite and desire to exercise. Instead, he felt the urge to light a cigarette. He had started finding strange pleasure in smoking ever since the Rumbling – it was an unhealthy habit that was not going to kill him on the spot but the idea of gradual self-harm to the body appealed to him because Jean couldn’t shake off the inkling that the Yeagerists had been right to an extent and that he should’ve been reprimanded for his hypocrisy as he had preached moral values while simultaneously participating in unspeakable atrocities.

Just as he took a puff, Jean heard Mikasa’s enthusiastic remark behind him, "It's so pretty!"

"And it's all yours now," Jean’s mother responded.

Jean leaped from his sitting position, turning around to see Mikasa gazing at the backyard in awe. Next to her was his mother, who had a self-satisfied look on her face.

"You scared me,” Jean croaked. “And what are you two even talking about?"

"The garden. It's beautiful," Mikasa said as she crouched down to run her hand through the freshly-grown grass. It was the end of March and nature had begun reviving after the harsh winter season. "Your mother has given me permission to work here."

"That's… sweet of her," Jean mumbled. His mother winked at him and he held back a groan. Only she could come up with something that was equally sentimental and sly. She must’ve realized Jean had a crush on Mikasa yesterday during lunch as she was far too perceptive when it came to her son. Her instincts hadn’t faded even during their time apart. Besides, Jean wasn’t subtle about conveying his infatuation so it must’ve taken his mother a total of one look at the way her son acted whenever Mikasa paid him any attention to connect the dots.

"It is. I'm indebted to her," Mikasa stood up to give his mother a hug. Then, she fixed her stare on him and stated in a more serious tone, identical to the one she used on the battlefield. "Oh, and Jean?"

"W-what?" the man stammered, caught off-guard by her addressing him so directly.

"Since this is my garden now, would you please stop polluting it with toxic smoke?" Mikasa gently let go of the elder woman’s embrace and stepped in proximity to Jean. She reached out and unceremoniously removed the cigarette from his mouth, leaving him gaping. After throwing it in the trashcan, adjacent to the yard’s entry, she wandered off to take a better look at the different plants, oblivious that she had just flipped Jean’s world upside down. He couldn’t produce a coherent sound as his mind went blank and his heart started racing the second she touched his lips. There was nothing inherently flirtatious about the act but his not-so-platonic feelings superbly enhanced his desperate reaction.

Jean’s mother sat down on the bench her son had been occupying not long ago, "Jeanie, why did you never tell me you had fallen in love?"

"Mom! Be quiet,” Jean immediatelly hushed her, slightly worried that Mikasa had heard his parent’s undeniably accurate observation. But even if she had, she showed no sign of it as she continued marvelling at the multiple types of flowers Jean’s mother had cultivated over the years. Realizing it was fine to go on, the man muttered faintly, “You’re wrong.”

“I might be old but I have not lost my intuition, my boy,” the woman protested fervently, evidently intrigued by the prospect of her son showing interest in their guest. "When did it start?"

"Ugh, stop meddling with my life! I’m not a kid anymore," Jean's face contorted with annoyance. Nonetheless, he hastily came to the conclusion that there was no point in concealing the obvious. With a sigh, Jean’s expression went back to normal and he elucidated, "Since I first laid eyes on her gorgeous hair. Nine years ago… But it wasn’t a big deal till after we graduated."

"So it was love at first sight? Have you confessed? Has she shown any indication of liking you as well?" Jean’s mother bombarded him with questions, delighted at having the validity of her suspicions proven.

"What are you getting so excited for? She’s in love with someone else," Jean retorted.

"Are they dating?" the woman inquired, not discouraged, even though Jean was. He had thoroughly persuaded himself that his love would never be anything other unrequited. Moreover, it was perhaps more likely for Eren to develop feelings for him than Mikasa.

"No. He's the one, who… Wait, nevermind," Jean was about to reveal that Mikasa’s beloved was the guy, who liberated Paradis, but hesitated as he felt bad about bringing Eren up after everything that had transpired. Jean didn’t approve of the other man’s method of breaking the cycle of violence but at the same time, he was intelligent enough to recognise that Eren’s rage was a result of various aspects and the reasons for his deeds were somewhat reasonable. "She always used to put his happiness above her own. But they are no longer together. So far, she’s been pretending he doesn’t exist but I wonder how she’s really taking their break-up.”

"Jeanie, I’m so proud," his mother noted. "You've grown into such a gentleman and I hope she notices how extraordinary you are... Give her time… she’s been through a lot."

_March 21, 857_

Jean and Armin spent the whole morning in town, searching for a vehicle to rent while wearing disguise. Travelling by train in the lesser populated regions was not dangerous but going to the capital to find Eren like that was risky, especially for Armin, who was considered to be the one responsible for commanding the Alliance. If he ended up being identified by a patriot, he was under threat of being attacked.

As anticipated, they had no luck as the owners of the four places they went to knew who they were due to being acquainted with the Kirstein family and none of them were keen on letting their services to “traitors”.

On their way back, they saw Mikasa, carrying a bunch of bags in one hand and a massive box in the other. She hadn’t bothered to make herself less distinguishable but she could afford that because the public was more amicable towards her as she was their saviour’s adopted sister.

"Mikasa!" Armin exclaimed. "What are you up to? We wanted to invite you to join us but you were already gone."

"Sorry, Armin. I went shopping for plant seeds and gardening tools," she clarified.

When they got to Jean’s home, Mikasa didn’t join them for lunch, neither did she show up to dinner. She was preoccupied with sorting out stuff in the yard.

“That’s the kind of person she is. When she sets her mind to something, she becomes entirely consumed by it,” Armin informed Jean and his mother.

_March 25, 857_

Jean rose as a sun ray illuminated his room in an astoundingly infuriating way. He extended his arm to close the blinds, only to see Mikasa in the garden, which was situated exactly under his window.

Jean dedicated a minute or two to watching her, overjoyed that she was absorbed by something she found fulfilling. As if sensing his presence, Mikasa looked up and their eyes met. To avoid any weirdness, Jean mustered up the courage to open the window and chat with her. "You're up early again!”

"I have a lot of work to do," she responded and Jean swore he detected a hint of pride in her intonation. Maybe she had taken his mother’s suggestion more seriously than he had presumed.

"Ah, good luck then," he nearly squeaked, suddenly bashful as he had no clue how to prolong the conversation due to his inexperience with floriculture.

Just as he was mulling over hiding back inside, not wanting to draw out the silence, Mikasa spoke, "Wait!"

Jean gulped, freezing.

"I found a few cigarrette butts in the grass," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh? I'm sorry…"

"If you truly mean your apology then you should come help me out a bit,” the young woman insisted.

Spending time with Mikasa while she was having fun? Jean was a fool when she was near him but he wasn’t an actual fool and that was an offer he could never refuse despite being self-conscious when interacting with her one-to-one. Nodding in agreement, he speedily ran downstairs and walked up to her. He asked tentatively, "What do you need my help with?"

Mikasa said nothing initially. She was captivated by trimming a bush. It took her a full minute to reply, "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I was a bit lonely… and could use the company," she admitted and Jean was astonished, wondering if he’ll ever get used to Mikasa uncovering vulnerable sides of herself. Observing her in such tender instances was like beholding a delicate flower poke out above the snow and begin to bloom. Was this what Eren felt every time he was with her? If so, Jean was starting to get why the guy had been so bent on doing whatever it takes to ensure her wellbeing. "Also, you might be a talented leader on the front lines but I doubt you can be of any assistance here."

Being acquainted with her, Jean knew that she probably didn't mean it as a joke but her bluntly-expressed opinion made him burst out laughing. "So… you’re acknowledging that I’m a great officer? Maybe even better than you?” he teased with the aim of entertaining her.

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm still better than you, better than everyone," Mikasa refuted, amused. But then her temper changed in a split second – she looked down, almost miserably. “But that was in the past. When we were only fighting titans. And all of us were… alive and together. Is it odd that I want to go back to those days?”

Jean gave her a sympathetic look, totally relating to her words, “It is… odd. But it’s the same for me. Life was… easier then.”

_March 29, 857_

Jean’s nap was disturbed by Mikasa, Armin and his mother loudly chattering away in the backyard. He assumed that they were simply having coffee and went on with his snooze.

He got out of bed an hour later. The noise had ceased so he peeked through the curtains. Predictably, Mikasa had lingered outdoors. As if afraid of damaging the pages, she was carefully flipping through a huge book on flower meanings Jean’s mom had gifted her the previous evening. She was the picture of serenity. Acting on impulse, Jean grabbed his sketchbook and started drawing. By the time he was done, Mikasa had finished reading and had concentrated on arranging some animal ornaments she had bought.

Overall, Jean was content with his art piece but something was missing. He pondered shortly before it hit him. He took the pencil and wrote in the corner of the paper:

_"_ _It’s the_ _time you spent on your rose_ _that_ _makes your rose so important. — J"_

He couldn’t properly remember where he had encountered that quote but it fit appropriately.

After everyone had retired to their respective room that night, Jean smoothly folded the portrait and found Mikasa's book on the bench in the backyard, placing it within it.

_March 30, 857_

Jean stirred. He was not prepared to get up just yet but a sweet aroma piqued his curiosity and he opened his eyes. There was a boquet of tulips at his bedside table, accompanied by a tiny note with only three words scribbled on it:

_"_ _Paradise on Earth_ _"._

Grinning like the love-sick idiot he was, Jean tried to envision Mikasa's reaction to finding his sketch. She must’ve liked it if she went out of her way to thank him. Nothing could make him more elated than knowing that he had contributed to her happinness even if with something so trivial.

_March 31, 857_

Armin and Jean finally managed to secure a horse-drawn carriage. They were able to rent it only for a week, which is why Mikasa and Armin had to depart at short notice. The blond man pleaded Jean to travel with them but he politely refused as this reunion was too personal for him to intrude on.

_April 1, 857_

It was April Fool’s Day and Jean couldn’t stop musing over how the custom might as well have been invented to celebrate him as he was the only man in history to pine for the object of his affections for almost a decade while grasping the indisputable fact that it was all in vain. It was torture he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy.

_April 2, 857_

After practicing drawing watercolour flowers all afternoon, Jean discarded the illustrations. None of them looked decent enough.

_April 3, 857_

Jean searched through his mother’s library for hours, frantically trying to come across the novella that contained the quote he had used for Mikasa’s portrait but to no avail.

_April 4, 857_

“Don’t worry, Jeanie! She’ll be back soon!”

“Stop bringing Mikasa up,” he yelled. “I’m over her.”

_April 5, 857_

“Here it is,” Jean exulted as he found the book he was rummaging around for in his mother’s collection.

He read it under a tree in the garden.

_April 6, 857_

His mother sent him to town to run some errands so he could “take his mind off of Mikasa” as she had phrased it. Her list was frustratingly lengthy and it took him significantly longer than estimated.

He was ready just in time for dinner. Once he was close to his house, he noticed the candle in Armin’s room, which was opposite of the main street. Jean almost tripped on nothing as he sprinted back.

“I’m home,” he shouted.

“Jeanie, you’re late,” his mother called out from the kitchen, where she was cooking. “Armin’s having a rest because he was exhausted,” she updated him, deliberately omitting the information she knew Jean was most keen on knowing as if to mock him.

“And Mikasa?”

“Armin said she had chosen to stay in the capital with that guy,” his mother explicated. “What’s his name, again? Erik? Earl? Eren?”

Jean’s face easily betrayed his disappointment as he exhaled in defeat. “Oh!” was all he could say.

“What’s the problem, Jeanie? Aren’t you over Mikasa? Why are you so upset?” his mother questioned, faking innocence.

“Who said I was upset! You’re imagining stuff,” he fumed and spun around to exit but his mother stalled him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m kidding, she’s in the garden.”

“What?” Jean barked. “What’s wrong with you? Do you enjoy your son’s suffering?”

“Ha,” his mother chuckled. “I was testing you.”

“Tch,” Jean hissed as he ran towards the yard.

Mikasa was motionlessly sitting on the bench. Nervous, Jean reached her in four big strides. She had definitely sensed him coming from afar but kept staring at the sky till he sat down.

"Hey!”

"Hey," he echoed. "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know," she murmured. Rather than bothering her with inquiries, Jean waited for her to elaborate without pressure. “When I witnessed the Rumbling activating, it dawned on me that I might’ve made a mistake in Marley and I vowed to always be honest about how I feel."

"What mistake?"

"A mistake that made me become conscious of my weakness."

"But you're not weak," Jean supportively countered.

Mikasa shook her head in disagreement. "I was. But there’s no point in thinking about the past. It can’t be altered. All we have is the future. We should learn from errors and relentlessly strive to improve."

“Do… you want to talk about how meeting Eren went?” Jean proposed.

"Not particularly," she faltered. “But the trip wasn’t an absolute disaster. Armin and I had a lot of time for reflection and we’ve decided to stay in Paradis for longer than intended.”

“That’s great news!” Jean gasped.

“Armin said we should move out in a little while. We came back at noon today and checked out some flats in Trost.”

This revelation alarmed Jean but he didn't want to bare his selfish aggravation to her. “D-did you find anything nice?”

“None of them had a garden,” Mikasa trailed off. “Or… a family.”

The last part of the sentence was pronounced so feebly that Jean was left puzzled as to whether he had heard correctly or if it had been a figment of his hyperactive imagination. "E-excuse me?"

"I wish we could live like this forever," Mikasa specified.

"Don't dwell on it then,” Jean almost whimpered. “You don't have to go! Stay for as long as you want to and keep working on the garden. My mother wouldn't mind. Actually, I think she’d cry if you leave.”

"Really?" Mikasa swiftly turned towards him, a hopeful expression on her face. "I'm welcome to stay here a bit longer?"

"Not just a bit longer but as long as you want to," Jean clarified. “Forever… as you said.”

In response, Mikasa took his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers. Jean couldn’t calm the butterflies in his stomach even after they separated. Her gesture was superior to any birthday gift he would receive tomorrow.

_April 7, 857_

Jean was brushing his teeth when Mikasa knocked on the door of his room in panic. “Jean,” came her anxious cry.

"Is everything okay?" the man demanded as he flung the door wide open.

"There’s a cat," she took his wrist and dragged him downstairs. "I just found her… injured."

"Wait… you found an injured cat? In the yard?"

"Yes, she’s lying at the trunk of the maple. I think she might’ve been bitten by another animal.”

Jean had never owned a pet so his knowledge was limited to military horses. He advised Mikasa that the best idea was to take the poor creature to the vet.

And so they did. Fortunately, the cat’s wounds were nothing to sweat about and she would recuperate.

On their way home, Mikasa was protectively hugging the cat, wrapped in a blanket. As they got to Jean’s neighbourhood, the nosy old lady that lived across the street from the Kirsteins greeted the both of them from her porch. She didn’t care about the young man being an ex-Alliance member so she had maintained her kind treatment towards him.

"Jeanie, you grow an inch taller every time I see you! Is your pretty girl holding a baby?"

Jean halted in the middle of the road and Mikasa bumped into his back.

"A baby? N-no. It's just a cat,” he answered, barely able to get the words out from embarrassment.

Mikasa shifted the blanket as if to prove that what she was craddling was indeed a cat.

"Ah, no need to get all flustered! You’ll get there," the woman giggled. "Tell your mother I say hi. She should drop by for tea this week! We have lots of gossip to catch up on."

"I’ll let her know."

Jean didn’t dare gaze at Mikasa lest the blush on his cheeks be discerned. He held the door to the hallway in place so the woman could enter with the cat.

"Could you please bring water and some of the food we bought?" Mikasa requested before proceeding to her room on the second floor.

Jean followed her instructions diligently and couldn‘t help but feel terribly domestic while doing so. “Damn it,” he grunted, massaging his temples. He shouldn’t let immature comments like that affect him this much or, otherwise, he’d never be able to forget about his attraction.

When he joined Mikasa upstairs and placed the two bowls beside her desk, the girl had already put the cat on her bed and was lying on its left, eyes intently focused on the tired ball of fluff that was snuggled in the blanket.

Having completed his task, Jean had nothing else to do here so he silently stepped to the exit. But Mikasa unexpectedly patted the empty space on the other side of the cat, begging him to lie down.

Skittishly, he sat on the animal’s right. The situation was becoming increasingly intimate by the second and Jean urgently needed to prevent his brain going into overdrive. “How are we going to name her?"

"I was thinking about… Sasha," Mikasa put forward.

Jean snickered at the proposal. "I just hope she doesn't eat as much as her namesake."

After a brief pause, the woman spoke again, "Look at how peaceful she is! She really is… like a baby," Mikasa said in a mellow voice. "I'm drowsy. Please, stay! Oh… and happy birthday!"

Needless to say, this was too much stress for Jean's fragile heart. He virtually melted, concerned that his pulse would never go back to its typical rate. Honestly, it was all twelve-year-old Jean’s fault. He was the sole culprit to blame for twenty-two-year-old Jean’s pitiful condition as he should’ve studied vocabulary harder in elementary school and learnt the notion of ‘self-preservation’ before falling head over heels with someone so out of his league that she might as well have been from an alien planet.

On the brink of another Mikasa induced migraine, Jean moved in a more cosy position, lying across the already slumbering girl, the cat between them. He, too, dozed off.

_April 8, 857_

“It’s like I’ve never known the real Eren,” Armin trembled.

Jean and the blond man were sprawled out on the lawn while Mikasa was watering the daffodils on the other side of the yard.

“I was meaning to ask. How did it go?”

“It was a catastrophe. Eren firmly believes this was for our good. According to him, we’d never understand his viewpoint, unless we got rid of our slave mentality,” Armin articulated. “The same quarrel as three years ago in the restaurant. He accused me of empathising with our foes and told Mikasa that he has subconsciously hated her all along.”

“What?” Jean screamed and Mikasa squinted at him quizzically. He waved to let her know there was nothing to worry about. “That’s too harsh. The stupid bastard is going to regret his words, especially once the inevitable is looming. And who the hell does he think he is? How did Mikasa take it?”

“She cried in our castle chamber. She has fear of abandonment and Eren hit her weak spot, which is why she got upset. By the next day, she was okay. I think she’s still hurting to a degree but has more or less accepted that the Eren we claimed to be familiar with is not the Eren he perceives himself to be,” Armin concluded.

“I swear, if I ever see him again, I’ll beat him up,” Jean snapped. “What an asshole!”

_April 11, 857_

“I went to the market this morning,” Mikasa came into the living room, where Jean was roughing out the silhouette of a tiger on the first page of a notebook. “I saw these decorative garden rocks that were hand-painted. But they were too expensive so I couldn’t afford them. However, Armin gave me a brilliant suggestion.”

“What is it?”

“Why not do it myself? Would you teach me how to paint these rocks I gathered? Only if I’m not imposing though.”

They spent the afternoon doing just that while a storm raged outside.

_April 14, 857_

Mikasa was braiding a flower crown while Jean was stretched on the ground behind her, a daisy in hand, strenuously pulling its petals off. Such moments were his favourite as he got to be alone with her – they were usually with Armin or Sasha, who had turned to be just as ravenous as their deceased comrade. Furthermore, she had become the bane of Jean’s existence as she worshiped Mikasa and passionately loathed sharing her attention with anyone.

No matter how many daisies he plucked and repeated the same process, the outcome remained consistent. “She loves me,” Jean muttered under his breath and a sudden wave of bravery overtook his senses. He brought it up subtly, “Since you’re a flower expert… Do you think it works, Mikasa? The ‘loves me, loves me not’ game?”

She glanced at him, visibly unimpressed by the silliness of his inquiry. “No. That’s a children’s game.”

_April 16, 857_

“Jean, Sasha’s check-up is tomorrow. Would you like to accompany me to the vet?”

“Of course.”

_April 19, 857_

"So… why do you keep inviting me to spend time with you?" Jean resolved to try his luck that day. "Since, you know, my gardening skills are pretty useless. And if you just need company, you can always ask Armin or my mom or even that neighbour girl you’ve started chitchatting with. Is there perhaps… another reason? A special one?"

"A special reason? Yes, you could say there is one," she mumbled in a deadpan manner, immediately piquing Jean's curiosity.

"What? Really? And what is it?"

"It's… a secret.”

"A secret… are you kidding, Mikasa? Come on," Jean persisted.

"It wouldn’t be a secret if I spilled the beans, would it?"

"But Mikasa," he implored.

_April 22, 857_

In the past month, the Kirstein household had established a steady routine. But the pace was disrupted when Armin found a property for himself and was all set to move out.

"You can be my flatmate," he prompted Mikasa on his farewell dinner with the family. "The apartment is large enough for the both of us."

"I… thank you for the offer, Armin," Mikasa took a bite of her meal, clearly unsure how to reply. Her uncertainty made Jean antsy. What if she was having second thoughts since their heart-to-heart the night before his birthday? He took a glimpse at his mother, who was just as disquieted by the likelihood of losing both of her new beloved children.

"You—," Armin began but was interrupted by Jean. "Don't go!" he rushed to thwart any argument Armin had. Instantly, all three pairs of eyes were on him. "You… you still haven’t finished your work on the garden. Right? Are you just going to drop it like that? Not your style, Mikasa. And Sasha! Cats have their habits and are not fans of change in environment.”

"That's true," Mikasa affirmed with a smile. "I guess I have no option but to stay."

Jean felt like bursting into song from pure glee. He heard a chuckle and turned towards Armin, who declared, "The garden is your responsibility now, isn't it? You can't just cast it aside."

_April 25, 857_

“We need to give Sasha a bath.”

_April 28, 857_

Mikasa had gone to visit Armin. Bored, Jean was skimming through her flower book when he came across a paragraph, dedicated to tulips. He fondly recalled the time she had left a bouquet of them in his room.

_“Symbolism: perfect love, paradise on earth”_

“Perfect love?” he read out loud.

Mikasa had selected the latter definition for the note, supplementary to her present, but could it be that the former one was applicable to their evolving relationship too?

“Tsk,” Jean winced at his delusional considerations.

_April 29, 857_

During his time in the military, the other soldiers had always praised him for being wise beyond his years – his superiors often referred to him to set an example on how one should rationally approach their assigned duties. While that was positively legitimate in the field of operations, the same could not be employed in regards to his private affairs.

“A love-struck jackass” is what Connie had described him as when Jean had ended up admitting that he still harboured feelings for Mikasa after succumbing to despair the evening they had successfully recaptured Shiganshina. Truthfully, Jean couldn’t agree more with his friend as Connie had found the most suitable way to define someone, who was perfectly aware that their adoration was one-sided and in spite of that, stubbornly refused to move on.

His recent interactions with Mikasa had revealed that rather than merely being an enamoured moron, Jean also happened to be a masochist. It was the only plausible explanation as to why the agony of his feelings made him feel merriness as opposed to pain.

On top of that, Mikasa’s behaviour had become incredibly confusing ever since she returned from the capital. He didn’t mind her sweetness as it gave him a faint shimmer of hope that she might see him as someone special but at the same time, he couldn’t help but wonder whether her changed attitude had something to do with her heart-breaking reunion with Eren. A part of Jean yearned for the former to be the case but his gut told him that he was nothing more than some sort of platonic rebound as it was downright inconceivable for Mikasa to genuinely be infatuated with him. After all, he was an ordinary man and had never done nearly as much as Eren had for her.

Tormented by his thoughts, Jean kept tossing and turning in a futile attempt to fall asleep. Finally accepting that it was not going to happen anytime soon, he grabbed his cigarrette pack and went outside for a smoke in order to relieve the stress.

Just as the miniscule flame of the lighter ignited, a voice came, "Stop right there!"

Mikasa appeared from inside the house, catching him red-handed. She must’ve woken up by the sound of him leaving his room.

"God, Mikasa! Do you ever rest?"

"Give it to me," she took the cigarette and threw it in the trashcan, mirroring their encounter one month ago.

The two of them sat quietly for a bit in the darkness.

After a few minutes had passed, Jean couldn’t bear it anymore so he made up his mind. It was now or never. Without overcomplicating it, he blurted out the dilemma that had been tearing him apart recently. "Mikasa… what am I to you?"

The girl looked at him in surprise. But the emotion promptly washed off and her stone cold expression took over. "You… you’re my friend…"

"A friend, huh?" Jean heaved a sigh. "Of course, you’re my friend too."

He turned his head, staring in the other direction. But a second later, Mikasa grabbed the sleeve of his pajama top. "Wait… don’t look away.”

Without wasting any time, she put her hands around his neck and their faces were inches from each other.

"Mikasa?"

"Also, you’re someone that… I'm falling in love with," was the last thing she said before she leaned in to kiss him. Dumbfounded, Jean didn’t even get the chance to respond before she had pulled away dejectedly. "Did I… misinterpret?"

"Mikasa… the flower game… it’s true!" he smirked before he their lips touched again.

**Author's Note:**

> i found the tulip flower symbolism on this random website and it had both "paradise on earth" and "perfect love" listed as meanings so i was like great, just what i needed
> 
> LMK what y'all think :')
> 
> (P.S. i may or may not continue this)


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